Is Depression Something You Have, Or Something You Do?

States of depression can range from mild (low mood, lack of motivation, disconnection or loneliness), to severe (deep hopelessness, self-hatred, thoughts of ending it all).

When you're in it, depression can feel heavy. Like a fog that won’t lift. Like the world is just wrong, and maybe you are too. Sometimes, it feels like there’s no way out.

But I’m here to tell you that peace, fulfilment, and happiness are often closer than they seem - when we understand how depression works, and what actually maintains it.

The Loop of Depression

A powerful shift happens when we stop thinking of depression as just something we have, and begin to recognise it as something we may be unknowingly doing.

Not intentionally. Not consciously. But through patterns - of thought, behaviour, and inaction - that reinforce a depressive state.

One of the most common and well-studied of these is rumination: the habit of turning things over and over in the mind. This often shows up as:

• Repetitive thoughts about the past: “Why did that happen?” “What’s wrong with me?” “I should have…”

• Worries about the future: “What if it never gets better?” “What if I fail?” “What’s the point?”

• Obsessively asking: “Why do I feel like this?” “What’s wrong with me?”

This mental loop can seem helpful at first - like you're trying to figure things out - but over time, it drains energy, worsens low mood, and stops us from doing the very things that help us feel better.

Behaviours That Maintain Depression

Here are some common behaviours (or lack of behaviours) that can contribute to keeping us stuck:

• Withdrawing from social contact (isolation)

• Staying in bed or indoors for long periods

• Neglecting food, sleep, or physical activity

• Avoiding responsibilities or goals

• Mindlessly scrolling or numbing with screens

• Harsh inner criticism or self-blame

• Ignoring basic human needs for connection, purpose, and variety

• Not speaking to anyone about what you're experiencing

• Waiting for motivation to arrive before taking action

Each of these can slowly reinforce the idea that life is too hard, or that you can’t cope - which isn’t true. But it can start to feel that way if these patterns go unchecked.

Behaviours That Help Relieve Depression

The good news is that just as depression is maintained by certain patterns, it can also be relieved by different ones.

These include:

• Moving your body, even gently (a walk outside, yoga, stretching)

• Connecting with others, even briefly (texting a friend, making eye contact, saying hello to a neighbour)

• Breaking the rumination loop by getting into action

• Fulfilling your core human needs, such as:

  • Connection

  • Contribution

  • Variety and stimulation

  • A sense of meaning or direction

• Engaging in something absorbing (a creative hobby, a puzzle, helping someone else)

• Getting sunlight, particularly in the morning

• Eating regularly and in a way that supports energy and mood

• Setting small goals, and completing even just one a day

• Practising self-compassion: speaking to yourself the way you would to a hurting friend

• Learning to tolerate uncomfortable feelings rather than trying to escape or analyse them

This isn’t about forcing yourself to be happy. It’s about gently reclaiming a sense of movement, agency, and connection.

It’s Not a One-Time Fix - It’s a Daily Practice

Healing from depression isn’t about doing something once and expecting everything to change. It’s more like tending a garden - you water it, even on the grey days. You notice when weeds of rumination start creeping in. You respond with care.

Start by noticing when you fall into depressing behaviours - when you stop moving, when you isolate, when the thoughts start looping. And then, gently interrupt that pattern.

Stand up. Stretch. Step outside.

Send a voice note. Wash your face. Listen to music that stirs something in you.

Do something. Anything. The tiniest action creates a ripple.

Final Thought: You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

Depression thrives in silence and isolation. So if this speaks to you, know that you're not alone, and you’re not broken. At Evergreen Hypnotherapy, I believe that depression is not who you are. It’s a pattern. A loop. And loops can be interrupted. Patterns can be rewired. Lives can be reclaimed.

It starts with awareness. And it deepens with action - daily, doable steps, supported by the right help. If you’re ready to take that next step, whether through hypnotherapy or simply a conversation, I’m here.

With care,
David Stewart
Evergreen Hypnotherapy